Like most creatures, humans are sexual beings by design for the propagation of the species.
Biology 101.
And this is usually part of the “birds and bees” talk we give our kids to explain where they came from. Now, there may be some exceptional kids born through artificial insemination where the story needs adjusting for them.
But, whether you view human design by the Divine, or by pure evolutionary selection, functional sexuality is for reproduction to ensure survival of the species. So, by Design, sexuality is driven by desire and need. And pleasure. Those drives can be channeled in healthy or unhealthy directions.
Scientific medical and sexual research has shown a very strong correlation between sexual health and well-being. And where sexuality becomes dysfunctional, such as being the victim of rape, or a porn or sexual addiction, or sexual anorexia, it often becomes a root of a great deal of suffering or dis-ease. And relational discord.
Consequences of unhealthy sexuality
The long lasting impact of childhood incest or sexual abuse is well-known, often with horrendous trauma for survivors to work through in later life. The impact on adult health and well-being has been well documented in the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Study, which we highlighted here in the Healing Past Trauma post.
Other children may have found themselves as sexual slaves or forced into prostitution. Sexual trafficking is still real, including our own country. A CBC Fifth Estate documentary in 2016 found sexual trafficking and slavery here in Canada.
With the rise of porn on the Internet, porn addiction is more rampant than ever. Marital relationships suffer as a consequence where real-life sex may not nearly come close to the staged digital performances. And of course, this may feed jealousy and digital infidelity.
Female victims of sexual abuse sometimes become shut down sexually (loss of libido) , or develop pelvic pain (painful intercourse is called dyspareunia). Male victims of sexual violation, either from early exposure to explicit materials, or as victims of sexual abuse themselves, become sexually activated early in adolescence, often leading to compulsive masturbation or a long string of loveless one-night stands.
Males or females who have been abused may develop gender dysphoria or same sex attraction not based on genetics, but on their dysfunctional environment and resulting brain neuroplasticity and hormonal changes.
And of course, the risks of sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies increase with sexual promiscuity and the so-called “hookup culture” of loveless sex. And many children growing up fatherless.
Spiritual implications
And there are spiritual implications. In Love Thy Body, author Nancy Pearcey outlines how the Christian worldview, as opposed to an evolutionary materialistic worldview, places very high value on the human body and sexuality. The Bible teaches that the human body is a “temple of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor. 6:19).
Therefore, sexual violations and promiscuity appear to have particular relational ramifications because we believe God designed the intimacy of sexual intercourse to be a spiritual union between individuals, as indicated in the following teaching by the Apostle Paul:
Don’t you know that your bodies belong to Christ as his body parts? Should one presume to take the members of Christ’s body and make them into members of a harlot? Absolutely not! Aren’t you aware of the fact that when anyone sleeps with a prostitute he becomes a part of her, and she becomes a part of him? For it has been declared: The two become a single body.
Paul in 1 Cor. 6:15-17 (The Passion Translation)
Some authors, which we at IHTC concur with, believe such sexual boundary invasions result in what we call “soul ties.” Every time a person has sex with someone else, part of one’s soul becomes fragmented and unhealthily bonded to that person. Even if it is not an ongoing relationship, that unhealthy bond can continue to affect present relationships, particularly one’s sexual intimacy in marriage.
So, unhealthy “soul ties” should be broken, for individuals to be released to truly find their freedom, and proper sexual fulfilment in their present marriage.
Finding hope and help
Unhinged sexuality has been rampant since antiquity. For a deeper understanding of sexual excesses in the Roman Empire and how the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth radically revolutionized sexuality for centuries, listen to an excellent interview with historian Roberta Ahmanson here (on on Spotify here. Or for the serious history buff reader, Tom Holland’s Dominion, is a deep dive worth checking.
The Internet and the sexual revolution starting in the 60’s has in many ways propelled our western culture to a very similar era with high divorce rates, an epidemic of fatherlessness, and the breakdown of the nuclear family.
We now know, however, in ways never understood before, how far reaching its effects are on adult health and well-being. And on marital success and happiness. And on kids’ health and education.
But as for all dis-ease, there is hope and help. And it must start with ourselves.
One place to start is with the SAA (sex addicts anonymous) website. A free useful self-screening assessment for sexual addiction is available here.
While there may not be a SAA chapter or meeting nearby, check out Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centred 12 step recovery program for hurts, hang-ups and unhealthy habits of all types. A local group has launched in Summerside, PEI Stay connected to their Facebook page for details.
For those with a story of being sexually abused, or if you were a perpetrator and haven’t dealt with your own guilt and shame, or made amends with your victims, contact us for therapy.
We also offer services such as couples’ therapy and teaching on healthy relationships.
If you or your group are interested in a marriage retreat contact us for partner ministries or organizations that we can connect you with.
Compassionately,
