Book excerpt
Every single morning of my whole life began with feelings of dread, not fear…dread!
When I say my entire life, I cannot find the beginning place no matter how hard I try, no matter how far back I go in my memories. I would open my eyes in the morning, and dread awoke with me. It was something I faced each and every morning. It was how all my days started. This all-encompassing, embracing ‘bad’ feeling was always there waiting for me. I would have to press through that feeling, push it aside, somehow get up and pretend it did not have power over me. This struggle with dread was part of my morning routine. It kept me pinned in my bed until I mustered up enough mental courage to put my feet on the floor. You could not see me struggling, it is not like watching someone brush their teeth, but fighting dread was definitely part of my morning routine.
You see, when we are babies, toddlers, and young children, our parents provide us with food and shelter. Our next greatest need is safety. In my childhood, that major building block of safety did not exist. I was robbed. Within my immediate family lurked a pedophile, and also within my immediate family lurked a violent alcoholic. Terror and danger were constants in my childhood life. The people and the place where I should have felt the safest, my own family and home, was in reality, for me, a minefield!
The people and the place where I should have felt the safest, my own family and home, was in reality, for me, a minefield!
Catherine Garant
All in God’s timing…
So there I was now on Sunday, November 23, 2014, giving my testimony, in front of the whole Church, openly sharing my story, the true story. I could not have scripted my life. Who would have believed all my cherished ones were in the room that day to support me: pastors, my doctor, and praying friends. And most importantly of all, my teddy bear husband Greg, my touchstone.
All in God’s timing…
That ‘course’ where Greg and I first met was a Dale Carnegie Effective Speaking course. We met and attended that course in March 1983, and my open public sharing was November 2014, thirty-one years later. One of Carnegie’s major principles was ‘earning the right to talk.’ I believed I had earned that right. I knew abuse, and I knew healing. On that November Sunday, it felt like God had turned my horror into my honour.
The version of me I hated has been transformed. Today I know in every cell of my being that God loves me and that ALL my efforts, all OUR work together have found…my genuine and authentic self…the person God originally created me to be…my loving and lovable self…with NO MORE HEADACHES and that was no small feat. Mission accomplished!
“There is no sorrow on earth that heaven cannot heal.”
David Crowder, singer/songwriter
I love the redemptive nature of God. The ‘stains’ we once tried to hide become our spiritual badges of honour and service. That is when God can begin to use us to further His kingdom.
By earth’s standards…I am a nobody.
By my personal life experiences…I am a survivor, an overcomer.
By heaven’s standards…I am a loved, precious, gifted child of God.
By Catherine Garant
Soon to be released book excerpt used by permission. To purchase the book upon release, with the details of Catherine’s healing journey , visit Bookshop page.
