Psychologists, philosophers and theologians have long thought about the human life span as a series of seasons. Like the butterfly life cycle from egg, to caterpillar, to chrysalis and finally to an adult butterfly, our adult lives can be similarly pictured.
We emerge from childhood and adolescence as novice adults, hopefully having learned independence from parents or first caregivers.
As we progress to early adulthood, we learn life skills such as character and a career. If we are healthy in this stage we know who we are, and who we are not, known as individuation. We become increasingly self-aware and learn self-care. Many of us work hard in this season to make a mark in the world.
The next season is more relational and intimate for most of us, either in a romantic relationship or with deep friendships. Here is where most of the parenting of the next generation happens. We learn as lot as new parents, hopefully becoming healthily interdependent, where it is not all about me. We learn to serve others and to become team players. For many this is the peak season of productivity in their careers.
The post-retirement empty nest season can truly be a season of greatness where one prepares to leave a legacy beyond death. Here the sage wisdom of elder-hood can be poured into protégés and grandchildren, what is called generativity.
The trajectory of one’s life should be a continual, albeit mostly in spurts, growth to greatness. The key is having our four core areas of need met in an integrated and balanced fashion.
Barriers to growth
Every passage from one season to the next has the potential for incredible growth, but can also become a barrier that causes stagnation.
The novice young adult may stay dependent on others. In the next season, one may be awash in shame and learn to portray a false façade to others, often with secret addictions. Those who fail in intimacy will likely experience isolation and loneliness, and leave the next generation lacking in their needs. Finally, the retiree may feel aimless or worthless, and have little to share with the next generations.
We know far more now why some people stagnate while others are resilient. Our early brain development in infancy and childhood, mostly from unmet needs such as love, has tremendous impact how our brains are wired, affecting us long into adulthood.
Why IHTC exists
IHTC exists to help people identify and overcome the barriers to a fulfilling, happy and healthy life. No-one is exempt from challenges along life’s passages. We all hurt. Those with resilience bounce back and experience what we now call “post-traumatic growth.” Others feel more like victims, stagnate, and may develop mental illness, lingering physical pain or illness, and relational stressors. Spiritually, depending on their faith or beliefs, they may feel abandoned and hopeless.
Our team has skills that will help rewire your brain and nervous system, which in turn has impact on multiple other body systems, like your immune and hormone systems. These methods are evidence based, meaning there is scientific research to validate them. Other centres use these techniques and practises.
Our four core needs bio-psycho-social-spiritual approach teaches us all to consistently pick a lifestyle habit from each quadrant, or to get mentoring or therapy, to close the gap between being a victim and a victor.
The key to wholeness and growth is meeting all four core needs in a balanced way where their overlap in the centre fires your passion, builds resilience and ultimately leads to greatness.
All our programs and services are safe. We will not push you where you are not ready to go. We know that when the “fight or flight” part of the brain jumps into gear, learning and growth will cease.
Victim or Victor
You do have a choice. Your barrier likely wasn’t your choice or your fault. You weren’t responsible … but you are response-able. You can choose your mindset and the determination to be an overcomer. We will highlight stories of those with horrendous traumas who chose the road of recovery and healing. Borrow a page from the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous where we:
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
Step 2 of Alcoholics anonymous
While your barrier may not be a substance addiction, in our experience, and scientific evidence supports this, many of the roots of dis-ease are similar.
Your first step is to admit your need. For many, that is the hardest part.
Step two: ask for help. Click below to start your journey. There are absolutely no financial obligations and we will not share your information.
